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22 November 2011 @ 03:39 pm
Lifeless  
Fandom: F1
Pairing: Jenson Button/Sebastian Vettel
Rating: R, just in case
Warnings: death, scary angst and horniness
Genre: One shot, angst, something very dark. and weird.
Disclaimer: I don't own these people, though I do own the plot. This is only a work of my imagination, so it has never happened and I'm not intending to insult anyone or anything like that.
Summary:  There was no use trying to change the destiny. If it wanted Jenson to be destroyed, then Jenson was to be destroyed.

A/N: This is like one of the weirdest and scariest things I've ever written. Just wanted to warn you. But it's also somewhat beautiful in my opinion. Hopefully somebody finds it interesting. Comments are forever and ever welcome.

Jenson took her cold and lifeless hand in his own and tried to lace their fingers together. He was staring at the ceiling, but he couldn’t hear the constant breath of the woman he was so used to hearing whenever he saw that smooth, white surface before him. She was lying next to him, but there was no life in her. No breath, no heartbeat. Only the lifeless body lying still. There was blood on her dress and on the sheets, even on Jenson’s hand. Red on white.

Jenson tried to lie as still, as motionless as the woman next to him. His mind was numb. He had forgotten how to feel. His breathing steadied. He kept staring at the ceiling. It was as empty as his heart and his mind and as white as the skin of the woman.

Somebody stepped in the room. Sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand touching slightly Jenson’s. Jenson didn’t bother to look at the comer. He knew who it was anyways. He recognized the breathing and the beating of that young heart and the softness of that skin against his own.

But when Jenson did look at the man, he was surprised to see so much more emotion in him. The younger man looked horrified, scared and shocked. Jenson looked calm, there was still no emotion. However, the younger man was also significantly calmer than what he had been before. He had been away for some minutes, maybe five, maybe ten, Jenson wasn’t sure. There was no time in this room anymore, because it really didn’t matter if the world was moving or if it had stopped completely.

“I had to call the ambulance.”

“She’s already dead, Sebastian. Can’t you see that?” Jenson wondered, eyes back on the ceiling.

Sebastian looked at Jenson with his purely innocent blue eyes. “But I had to.”

Jenson didn’t say anything. Ghostly silence surrounded them once again.

Jenson, for his own surprise, sat up. He looked at her, lying there in the same position with the same blank expression. No life was seen anywhere in her. Her eyes were staring into eternity and then again nowhere. He looked at the bloody dress, the messy hair and the white skin. Then leaned down to press a kiss on the lifeless lips. They felt cold and tasted like her lip balm.

Jenson let his fingers travel on Sebastian’s arm, making the younger man shudder. Sebastian tried not to look at the older man. Jenson started pressing small kisses on his neck. He tried not to react and stay calm. This was in no way the time and place to start making love.

But even with the dead woman lying there right next to him, Jenson seemed to be horny. It was Sebastian’s fault, he reasoned to himself. That boy was always there to make him horny. Always. No matter the situation, a glimpse of Sebastian and he was already desperate to get into the younger man’s pants. Maybe not quite so, but close enough.

Sebastian wasn’t that easy though. Not always. Not even nearly always. It often took lots of effort from Jenson to finally actually get what he wanted from the younger man, but it had become a lot easier lately. Now it seemed like a mission impossible though. Sebastian was still not too comfortable with the situation they were in. Jenson couldn’t blame him. There was a corpse in the bed, why would anyone want to have sex there?

An ambulance came. Jenson flinched at the sound of it. Sebastian stood up. Jenson felt colder without the younger man’s body there. This was it now. This was the end. End of what, Jenson wasn’t too certain of that. But he knew it was the end of something.

Sebastian walked out of the room. He might have as well walked out of Jenson’s life. Because somehow Jenson felt like he had. There was only Jenson and the lifeless body left. Jenson lay down again. The blank ceiling was still blank. There was still no other sound but his breathing. Maybe this was how his life had destined to be.

That in the end, there would be nothing but his breath. Or rather, in the end there wouldn’t even be his breath. Only blankness, only whiteness of the ceiling. Maybe he was destined to get everything and then lose it. Maybe all the feelings for Sebastian were meant to pass. Maybe they were never meant to be there, maybe they had been there only to destroy everything else and then finally also take Sebastian away.

There was no use trying to change the destiny. If it wanted Jenson to be destroyed, then Jenson was to be destroyed. Jenson didn’t feel like rebelling. He felt too numb to even consider swimming against the tide.

“Come on destiny, take everything away from me. I won’t tell you not to,” Jenson whispered and waited.

Waited for the steps to get closer. And closer.

Just to take him away.